One of them doesn’t really belong and I’m currently wishing it didn’t have to be how I see the NY in! ‘Chemo Chair and New Year’ (it’s got a good ring to it but that’s about it).
We had a lovely Christmas Day with family, girls were spoilt with ‘Dua lipa’ concert tickets and spent Boxing Day exploring the Wainuiomata river, swimming and eating leftovers.
The thing is, this summer is different and I am mourning my old life and our usual summer holiday fun, the odd midday rose with lunch, constant fun with friends, abundance of energy and afternoon g&t’s in the sun. Of course it’s not the be all and end all but with chemo looming in the background and a constant play it by air on how I’m feeling attitude, it creates a ‘missing normality’ aspect that requires me too constantly try and over ride the negative thoughts that like to creep in intermittently.
We’ll get there and I suspect all these slightly angry, ‘it’s not fair’ thoughts will disappear. In the mean time, I will enjoy celebrating my birthday tomorrow (not quite like the party I had last year) but with my beautiful family. I’ll continue to be grateful for the many things I have rather than don’t have and know that this year is different but it’s not forever! Don’t worry, Positive Polly will be back and most of the time Negative Nancy doesn’t stand a chance but I guess from time to time it’s normal and sometimes I just need to ride the wave!
Looking forward to seeing Gary shrink even more on the 31st!
This article sums up the many thoughts, feelings and emotions of a cancer diagnosis (written by a cancer survivor/oncology nurse).…….https://herecomesthesun927.com/2016/11/14/dear-every-cancer-patient-i-ever-took-care-of-im-sorry-i-didnt-get-it/?fbclid=IwAR1JZqsSgaLGX2aXf6jx70f6Duds8Q1-5uqJyXmPtsCoDXLyAb3jvF86M7g
Xx
xx
Comments